Relationships are hard.
Or are they less complex than we make them to be?
I’d like to believe the latter statement was true. Even after speaking to countless older and more experienced people than myself in the art of relationships, relationships are hard. Like everything else that is good, it takes time and effort to develop a good relationship.
Much like growing a beautiful flower garden, developing a beautiful romantic relationship takes time. The most important lessons of love and life are learned during that time of patient tendering and nurturing. It’s not a shock that many of us find ourselves either madly in love or in the mist of a civil war of hearts – Love and War. Here are some tips below on beginning the process of building a strong and mutually respectful romantic relationship.
TIPS I WISH I WAS TOLD BEFORE BEGINNING A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP
1. FRIENDS OVER EVERYTHING.
Being friends first is the most essential step often missed when beginning in a romantic relationship. If you’re simply feeling physically attracted, then it may as well be a hookup.
Yes, I said it. It may as well be a hookup.
Starting off as friends allows ample time to get to know each other’s quirks and habits, like the way he loves to eat a banana with peanut butter or the way she ties her shoelaces.
All in all, it’s the time you get to truly know who they are as a person and if it is better-staying friends or possibly being more.
2. TAKE IT SLOWWWWWWWW…
Take it slow. Perhaps even slower than a crawling snail.
Seriously, do take it slowww.
You’ve decided he’s the bae for you and this is the moment to bask in the fleeting feelings of falling in love, at your own pace. No outsiders allowed.
It’s often hard to ignore the social pressures of being in a romantic relationship as soon as you’re in your twenties. And it’s because of these that we quickly find ourselves wrapped up in romantic relationships we are either unhappy with or simply incompatible.
So it’s essential that you both take the time to slowly ease into the process of being a relationship. This process includes getting a feel of how you both get along together, enjoying its simplicity and basking in its peace.
Afterall, you must remember you have the rest of your lives together ahead of you.
3. TO SOCIAL MEDIA OR NOT TO SOCIAL MEDIA?
To social media or not to social media? Regardless of how you feel, everyone is asking who your bae is and the questions begin piling up into a mountain of epic proportions. It may become almost unbearable at times, especially for the introverted and yet, DON’T CAVE IN.
You’re still growing in your new relationship dynamic and the prying eyes of
the whole world or your world is one thing you should not allow in until you are ready.
It’s A-OKAY to gather a few of your BFFs and celebrate over a girls night out or announce to your family.
Social media will always be there. Social Media can wait.
4. DONT FORGET YOURSELF OR YOUR FRIENDS.
Being in a romantic relationship is such a delightful experience and the need to spend all your time together is all you dream about. You will find yourself spending every waking moment daydreaming of romantic rendezvous and its okay. You are very normal.
Even so, whether or not you are together, by yourself, with friends or family, these feelings will always be a part of you. So don’t forget to make sure to spend the time to also nurture other aspects of your life such as your relationships with your friends, family and especially investing in yourself through hobbies and self-interests.
Keeping a balance will allow you maintain a sense of who you are and the reason why he/she fell in love with you.
Stay true to you.
5. YOU’RE OFFICIALLY A THANG.
It’s official: You’re a thang and you are prepared. Everything above prepared you for this.
Being in an official relationship no longer involves just the two of you. It’s the mingling of his friends and yours over spinach dip and tortilla chips, his mom calling your mom for her secret lasagne recipe and the every prying eyes of your beloved co-workers set on his social media.
However, the most important thang to always remember is, it boils down to the two of you.